commandtower-solring-go:

llamallover:

pastabot:

honted:

tilthat:

TIL the first known case of “dying from laughing” involved the greek man called Chrysippus, who, after giving figs to his donkey, cried out “Now give the donkey a drink of pure wine to wash down the figs”, had a fit of laughter afterwards and died.

via reddit.com

pretty funny i guess

had to be there

Translation is always tricky, but I remember this slightly different:

Figs were an imported delicacy at the time, and the donkey just managed to eat them (without being given any on purpose). Seeing a donkey eating several times their own value in figs, the philosopher looked to his servant who might have been standing there either in shock, despair, or both, and said something along the lines of
“Oh don’t just stand there. Get him some (undiluted) wine to wash the figs down with”. With (undiluted) wine also being an expensive drink.

I feel like that context makes it funnier. Basically like standing in front of your burning mansion with a butler, meeting their eyes, and telling them that you still feel a little chilly and ask them if they could put on an extra log or two.

idk what’s funnier, the burning house situation, or being the butler as you watch your master laugh so hard at his own joke that he fully fucking dies.

(via letmetellyouaboutmyfeels)

70thousandlightyearsfromhome:
“spockvarietyhour:
“emilie786:
“captaincarriekathryncoffee:
“startrekdreams:
“How to jump on the bridge: Follow Worf’s example or don’t jump at all.
”
Found it 😁
”
That’s what the railing is there for, clearly.
I give...

70thousandlightyearsfromhome:

spockvarietyhour:

emilie786:

captaincarriekathryncoffee:

startrekdreams:

How to jump on the bridge: Follow Worf’s example or don’t jump at all.

image
image

Found it 😁

That’s what the railing is there for, clearly.

I give Chakotay the best in overall performance. Worf the prize for most awkward yet efficient, and to Tasha goes the elegance under fire award.

There’s also alternate Picard

image

Simple, economical, saved 10 seconds doing that.

Harry can do it while holding a clarinet!

image

(via unrulyhedge)

cycas:

lesbiansforboromir:

arda-tourism-board:

lesbiansforboromir:

lesbiansforboromir:

lesbiansforboromir:

WAIT HOLD ON WAIT EVERYBODY SHUT UP… Athelas is an invasive species

Videogames in particular need to be QUIET, Athelas holds NO VALUE other than as an antidote to the ‘black breath’ corruption of the Ring Wraiths (which hasn’t been an issue anyone has had to deal with in millenia), it’s called a WEED which means it grows EVERYWHERE and chokes out any other plants you might actually WANT to grow and is a devil to get rid of. Why am I having to search in the goddamn barrow downs for Athelas!!! Farmer Maggot would literally pay me to dig it out of his fields!!! I’d get 12 Tharni an hour for it!! 

IT. IS. LITERALLY not native to Middle Earth!! The Numenoreans brought it over and then proceeded to plant it fucking EVERYWHERE just because it smelled nice, I can’t bear it, I cannot. Aragorn’s like ‘it is such a shame the people have lost ancient wisdom and knowledge’ and Ioreth should have turned to him with death in her eyes and said ‘IT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE NEAR EXTINCTION OF 5 KEYSTONE SPECIES ASSHOLE’

- Elrond, giving a herbal healing lecture to Aragorn

Elrond doesn’t know anything about the natural ecosystem outside of Rivendell, Elrond and elves in general are the ones who taught Aragorn about Man’s ‘declining wisdom’ and how cool Athelas is in the first place! I am channelling Samwise Gamgee and Ioreth the wise ONLY today. Elrond WISHES he had the kind of intersectional and holistic wisdom that Ioreth possesses 

I think it’s only in the movies where Sam describes Athelas as a weed.  In the books, Aragorn finds it on his own, and had to search hard for it in the dark, finding it only by its scent. It’s not a common plant, let alone invasive. 

In Return of the King, we get: 

Thereupon the herb-master entered. ‘Your lordship asked for kingsfoil, as the rustics name it,’ he said; or athelas in the noble tongue, or to those who know somewhat of the Valinorean…’

‘I do so,’ said Aragorn, ‘and I care not whether you say now asëa aranion or kingsfoil, so long as you have some.’

'Your pardon lord!’ said the man. 'I see you are a lore-master, not merely a captain of war. But alas! sir, we do not keep this thing in the Houses of Healing, where only the gravely hurt or sick are tended. For it has no virtue that we know of, save perhaps to sweeten a fouled air, or to drive away some passing heaviness. Unless, of course, you give heed to rhymes of old days which women such as our good Ioreth still repeat without understanding.
When the black breath blows
and death’s shadow grows
and all lights pass,
come athelas! come athelas!
Life to the dying
In the king’s hand lying!

It is but a doggerel, I fear, garbled in the memory of old wives. Its meaning I leave to your judgement, if indeed it has any. But old folk still use an infusion of the herb for headaches.’

'Then in the name of the king, go and find some old man of less lore and more wisdom who keeps some in his house!’ cried Gandalf.

From this we can see that Athelas was still used as a folk-remedy in Gondor, to treat headaches, and to freshen the air: it’s not only useful against the Black Breath. We also see that the herb-master has probably not actually talked to Ioreth about Kingsfoil, because what she said when she was asked about it was not to draw any link between the herb and kingship: it’s Aragorn that does that:

 'I do not know, I am sure, lord,’ she answered, 'at least not by that name. I will go and ask of the herb-master; he knows all the old names.’

'It is also called kingsfoil,’ said Aragorn; 'and maybe you know it by that name, for so the country-folk call it….

“Oh that!’ said Ioreth. 'Well, if your lordship had named it at first I could have told you. No, we have none of it, I am sure. Why, I have never heard that it had any great virtue; and indeed I have often said to my sisters when we came upon it growing in the woods: “kingsfoil” I said, “'tis a strange name, and I wonder why 'tis called so; for if I were a king, I would have plants more bright in my garden”. Still it smells sweet when bruised, does it not? If sweet is the right word: wholesome, maybe, is nearer.’

Even if Athelas was only introduced after the fall of Numenor, rather than before, it would have been part of the Middle-earth ecosystem for over 3,000 years, so in most countries would be counted as very much naturalised. That’s (probably) way longer than, say, wild cherries have been in Britain.

For that matter, we only have Aragorn’s word for it that Athelas came from Numenor at all.  If Elrond isn’t reliable on these matters (and why on earth would Elrond not know about the ecosystem outside Rivendell? He was about 1800 years old when he founded the place), then how would Ioreth know?

 I’m about Ioreth’s age, and I have no bloody idea if Danewort was really introduced by the Danes, or if the Watling Street Thistle was a Roman introduction, and both of those are way more recent! 

(via oldshrewsburyian)


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